holidays – Page 5

Traditions

We try not to cling too tightly to traditions. We realize that, as Hadley gets older and as we (hopefully) add to the family, it’s best to stay flexible and avoid the disappointment when we’re not able to celebrate something the exact same way every year. Besides, it cuts down on the stress.

However, it’s important to have SOME. A few, maybe. Okay, so we may not always go to one of our parents’ houses for Thanksgiving (I WILL cook one for more than just our little triad someday; I’m frickin’ Martha Stewart, let me show it!) and the running around of Christmas eve and the big day will simplify one day, but for now, we have a few traditions that fill our hearts with love and cheer year after year.

– Christmas movies. It doesn’t matter whether we see all of them or not, as long as we see a handful. The Grinch (the original). Charlie Brown (the original). Rudolph (the original…see a trend?). The Bishop’s Wife, It’s a Wonderful Life, Frosty…they all work. And once in awhile, we add a new-old favorite, like how Dave “found” (I won’t say “stole” since we all taped these specials off of TV when we were kids, right?) the Sesame Street Christmas special that we remembered watching the heck out of as kids. And, true to form, Hadley sat through it from beginning to end. So proud. Oh, and what is UP with this new “It’s a Wonderful Life” concept?!?!?! Not happy!

– “The Polar Express.” I love the movie, I love the Josh Groban song from it, I love the book. But, when Dave worked for a local news station, he and his meteorologist friend were asked to come read it (along with another holiday book) every year at our Barnes and Noble. It was one of the few things we thought, “Awww, they won’t want you back for the book-reading” after he left. But, luck had another thing in mind. He was recently tracked down to fill in last-minute and, of course, he said “yes” as quickly as he could. We’ve seen him go from anxious to cool-as-a-cucumber after many nights of practice reading with Hadman, to the point where he’s bringing along his second book in case Barnes and Noble doesn’t have it. The student has become the master. Oh, and last year Hadley made a splash greeting his minions…this year…well, he preferred socializing to sitting still. Such is the life of a toddler.

– The tree. I grew up with a fake tree. I don’t really mind one way or the other, but let’s just say that I would’ve had a fake one up before Thanksgiving weekend was over, and all other decorating would’ve been done. (Usually the tree kickstarts my motivation to decorate the rest of the place.) But, our new tradition involves a real one, so this year we picked one up recently as a family. Last year, Dave dragged one home from Lowe’s in the middle of the night, so it’s an improvement. Next year, we’ll probably attempt to cut one down as a family. Lord help us. (And I’m not religious.) But, regardless of how I try to decorate the rest of the place, the tree stays. You go. (Kidding. ;-)) Christmas isn’t Christmas without a tree.

– Cards. Whether we’re able to write a few lines or just “Best Wishes, the Delleceses” (man, that looks weird pluralized), there’s a reason we don’t cut this out or email folks faux cards. We’re traditionalists. Modern, but traditional. Hey, if Bing can find some time to write out a few cards (Irving Berlin, actually, but work with me here; Bing’s the man), can’t we? Damn straight, we can. We may pare it down a little each year to just the essential friends and family that we want to touch base with, but we still do it.
– Cookies, cookies, cookies. Even when I’m the only one eating them, I MUST make cookies! I still remember poor Dave wrangling Hadley while I attempted to make a couple kinds (including the time-intensive cutouts…at least, it was time intensive with a 5-month-old hanging around). This year, I’m demanding help from the little munchkin. Plus, he can help me eat them this year. And, yep, they’ll still be all-natural/organic/real food…but yummy and full of sugar. Besides, what else can we leave for the good ol’ Kris Kringle?

– Santa. Speaking of the big guy, sure, of course Santa visits us. He’s been coming since Beardslee first found us…wait, probably before that, even. Why would Santa stop coming? Psht. Craziness.

– BRRRRKFST!!!! (I know that’s not how it’s spelled, thanks; but that’s how I say “breakfast” when it’s decadent and super special – with excitement and zero vowels.) Now, I don’t mean that I’ll make the same thing every year, but know that there will be a delicious breakfast meat (usually it’s locally-raised bacon that is to DIE for, but I’ve recently fallen for Applegate’s chicken and apple sausage (although I realize that they also have chicken and maple…and chicken and SAGE?! Man, my Hannaford sucks), so we’ll see what we get. Maybe both. As for the rest, scroll down here to see what we had last year — eggs, a bagel, and so forth. But that’s kinda work-intensive for a morning feast, right? I grew up some years having this french toast casserole type of thing that Mom made the night before and popped into the oven to bake off while we opened presents, and I’m considering concocting something similar this year. And I’ll probably cut up some sweet potatoes (or plain potatoes) for some home fries, which are an absolute MUST. Nom nom.

– Um. Presents. Why do I type that wracked with guilt?? Probably because we wish we weren’t as consumer-driven as we are. And, y’know what? In all honesty…I’d be happy with a few very well thought-out gifts (which my husband is usually awesome at), and that’s it. Our joy really comes from mulling over our selections for those we love. We’ve got a couple of Grinches who tend to be pretty hard to buy for, but for the most part knowing that someone will get lots of use out of something means so much more than stacking my Kia to its roof with crap. That totally sounds ungrateful, but I suppose that’s how you become when people overbuy; it means far less and even puts a damper on things.

Pretty classic traditions, right? Maybe one day we’ll try Elf on the Shelf…or not. Maybe we’ll make ornaments…or not. Maybe we’ll get into making a nice holiday ham…or not. The cool thing about traditions is the memories they create, and the continuity they provide in your life. I don’t expect to keep all of our traditions, but as long as we keep a few and I have SOMETHING to look forward to, I’m good.

What traditions can you not do without? Anything wacky? Or pretty much traditional (ha, get it? Traditional traditions!)? I’d like to hear!

Gettin’ It Together – Office Edition

“I hate this. I just hate doing this. This is the stuff…that I hate!” Of course, this one-sided conversation (which my husband thoroughly enjoyed observing) was riddled with profanity and laughs and squeals of frustration, but that’s the gist of the thing.

Sure, I’m not a fan of cleaning. Few people are; and those who are are unique.

But, when it’s office cleaning — organizing, really. Filing. Sifting. Paperwork. *cringe* I’d clean 10 toilets first. Which, of course means that the stacks pile up, and how. So, here’s what we started with…

Traditions - image on https://megactsout.com

Blech. Just…ick. Not dirty, just messy. And this year, I need a space specifically dedicated to wrapping. The living room floor just isn’t cutting it (although I’m sure I’ll miss watching my old Christmas movies while wrapping).

Here’s the “after.” Not perfect (there are still unceasing piles, but at least everything has a place), but it’ll fit the bill. Oh, and I finally flipped my Beatles calendar to December (from October, LOL). I think it’s appropriate that the last month of the year is the “Let It Be” month. Nice thought to end on before heading into the new year.

The workspace, just waiting for wrapping paper and gifts…

…and surrounded by some of my most prized possessions. Or, should I say, my favorite people? Dad…

…and Katharine Hepburn. She’s my home girl. (Side note: Only valuable thing in the place. Don’t consider breaking in; it’s not worth the trouble. 😉 And by trouble, I mean the arse kickin’ I’d give ya.)

Looks like Winston’s ready to get into the presents, too. (That’s a fraction…and, no, the Imaginext superhero thing isn’t for Hadley, it’s for a toy drive.)

Here it is with some wrapping paper (and spare wrapping paper and a box of ribbons underneath; fits perfectly!) ready to get underway. I suppose there are no excuses left!

Have you found any ways to simplify you usual Christmas craziness? If nothing else, this is definitely an early present for Dave. The office is his little sanctuary, and while it isn’t his impeccable (hello, pile of presents and half-wrecked scratching post), it’s still refreshing and always a joy to do something for Dave that didn’t spend a cent (and, consequently, will make him happier than almost anything I could buy).

Green Child 2013 Holiday Edition

Taking a week off from Foodie Friday. I've been cooking, but only basics (y'know...to keep the ol' family alive while in the midst of a raging book fair at work), but hope to do some baking or holiday sides to share.

It's here again! The latest issue of Green Child Magazine (which I'm proud to be a little ol' contributor to) is out, and it's awesome. It's the perfect breather from the hustle and bustle that takes over this time of year, with eco gift ideas, thought-provoking (and relaxing) articles, and tips up the wazoo. And there, on pages 55-59, sit I. :-)

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I am in LOVE the simplification ideas. That's really all I want for Christmas -- less stuff, more memories and coziness and joy together. And those soup recipes? Get out. ;-) No, don't really.
Honestly, there isn't a single piece I didn't beam while poring over; they were all just that good.

If you need a break from the crazy, check it out (and, nope, I'm not perked for writing this). I'm currently an unpaid contributor, and I'd be a fan regardless of whether I write for them. :-) Enjoy!!

First Family Trip

Over the Columbus Day weekend (yes, I’m that behind on things), we finally tested the waters and took our first overnight family trip with Mr. Hadley, now 15 months old. We took a trip to Massachusetts over the summer, but this was the first just-the-three-of-us “let’s see if we can have fun far away from home” trip. On a scale of 1 to 10, I’d say it was an 8…to 9…depending on how optimistic I’m feeling. 😉

The best part (and what made it, I thought, easier) was that we returned to Vermont — where we had our honeymoon and first anniversary trips. We stayed at the familiar Middlebury Inn. We walked around familiar Middlebury and drove the familiar roads that took us to familiar antiques shops. We stopped for a familiar romp around the Bennington Monument (although we’d never ran circles around the green before…thank you, toddler energy!).

But, it wasn’t a boring trip, by any means. Everything is so new through the eyes of a toddler, and the surreality of being places that we once casually spent hours eating at or were able to peruse without tiny, jutting hands grabbing things from shelves…it was kinda neat. And a little nerve-wracking. But, we accepted that this was how the trip would be, and we admittedly loved every minute of it.

Since it was Parents’ Weekend at Middlebury College, we could only book the Sunday into Monday (fine by us). We arrived in VT early after a pretty uneventful trip (hooray for naptime!), let the folks at the Inn know that we were early, then sauntered over to one of our favorite places on Earth: the Middlebury Co-Op. We’ve been there a few times and love it more each time. There’s cast-off (perfectly fine) soap from a local natural soap company that we stock up on (literally purchase pounds of the stuff in varying scents). Dave ogles the grind-it-yourself coffee. I love finding a vast selection of items I’ve only heard about online, often shouting with unabashed excitement to Dave two rows over. And, for it being one of his least favorite activities, Hadley did pretty well being carted through the aisles. (Key here: Constant motion.)

We purchased a lunch from the place (they have prepared food, too…woohoo!) at which time the antsy-pants took command, so we pretty much took turns watching him. Dave also walked the half-block to the car to store our treasures; Hadley made his acquaintance with several strangers sitting at the picnic tables outside the store, which made me realize that his social streak causes Dave and I to be far friendlier and more outgoing than we normally might be. Y’know, comparable to a puppy.

We then checked in for realsies, rode a “real live OLD SCHOOL elevator” with a teen to operate it, dropped off our stuff, (had the Pack ‘n Play delivered and set up since it had been forgotten; the only small glitch), and headed to the lobby for Dave’s favorite — afternoon tea.

They also have yummy pastries and cookies, so we loaded up a plate and brought our tea (and Hadley’s sippy cup o’ juice) to the “veranda” to watch the quaint traffic and enjoy a moment. Dave was in his glory, as my mother would say, and Hadley was a very good boy…since he was getting tastes of chocolate or lemon cookies, a huge treat.

Dave’s look during tea? Pensive. Pensive. And pensive. (He DOES enjoy it VERY much…believe me!)

We then went for a stroll around town. Unfortunately, since it was Sunday and heading for after 4, most of the stores were closed, but we still enjoyed our walk. I had hoped that Hadley would sleep for a little while in the stroller, to no avail. We then headed back to the Inn to get ready for our 5:30 reservation. Dave was already talking about the cheese plate, which we always order (for whatever reason). I was preparing myself mentally for a hadn’t-napped-sized meltdown from the munchkin.

I was pleased that our timing seemed to avoid any big rush (you never know when people will eat dinner, do you?) so that we’d be disturbing minimal guests with our noisy boy. He ate pouches, and tastes of my pork and the most delicious braised cabbage and whipped sweet potatoes I’d ever tasted. He ate cheese of his own while we feasted on our cheese plate (all goat this time, strangely; usually there’s at least one Cabot since the factory is on the outskirts of town). He played and hammered his hands and utensils on the table and caused a general ruckus, much to our disappointment, but the other guests seemed very forgiving and our hostess kept assuring us that he was very well-behaved and sweet and “nobody minds a bit, he’s so cute!”

We finally decided that, while dinner had been nice, it was time for Hadman to have a bath and get ready for bed (even if it was a bit earlier than usual), so Dave stayed to pay the bill (and get a couple of creme brulees to bring up to our room — I married a keeper, ladies!).

(Looked horrific dumped into a to-go container, but tasted lovely!)

We usually bathe Hadley in the kitchen sink, so this was his second tub experience. I let him play to his heart’s content, then run around the connected rooms (we had our own separate bedroom attached to a kind of living room, where his Pack ‘n Play was set up) before finally calming down, reading a book, and settling down for the night. Dave and I watched crappy cable and read magazines and books, and talked about how much we missed the cats. It was awesome.

The baby awoke far too early the next morning, but we weren’t ready to get up yet, so I brought him in the fluffy bed with us — where he immediately conked out. He has a weakness for comfy pillows, I suppose.

I got ready early and played with the munchkin (and got him ready) while Dave took a shower. We packed up and Dave loaded up the car while Hadley and I tore through the large lobby. (Okay, I didn’t tear through it, but he did…and I came tumbling after.) I finally realized there were a butt load of Morgan horse pictures (they were first bred here! And my niece’s name is Morgan, so what’s better than that?) adorning the walls, so we went from one to the next, pointing and “oofing.” (All animals say “oof”…or is that just what the cool kids are doing?) Daddy came back and we found a short line waiting for the Inn’s delicious breakfast — which made our nerves immediately spike.

With just two or three other tables of folks the night before, we were confident. With an entire dining room full this morning, we felt dead in the water. “Will. He. BEHAVE?!” we both silently wondered. Luckily, they were gracious enough to seat us at a HUGE table in the corner (near windows, though — we didn’t feel relegated to the dungeon) so Hadley could discover his table manners in relative privacy. The huge room, however, was eerily silent (what, were people whispering or just not talking to their spouses?! C’mon, can’t SOMEONE have a public spat??), so every little noise he made echoed. Eh, ya win some, ya lose some.

I had been dreaming of the couldn’t-be-more-perfect waffles for years (they’re the reason I bought a Belgian waffle maker…and still haven’t been able to find the “taste,” so quit trying), so I made a plate with extras for the munchkin of waffles, bacon (just a bit), eggs (which he loves), and some yogurt. Man, those waffles were as awesome as I remembered. We filled our stomachs and the baby let us know that he was ready to go. Off into the perfectly drizzly autumn day for some driving and antique stops.

We only stopped at two antique shops along the way — one run by a kind older man with a friendly pup who follows you around the store, and the other (Branford House Antiques) where we had befriended the owners and purchased a sidebar on our honeymoon. BOTH had “For Sale” signs plopped unapologetically on their front lawns. *pout* I suppose this is the end of an era.

Purchases were kept at a minimum: I grabbed a $10 wooden crate (wicked price, whether it’s an antique or not) and Dave bought an Art Deco lighter to adorn his office at work. Relatively cheap, and no regrets of over-purchasing. Win-win!

We DID over-buy at The Chocolate Barn in Shaftsbury. Maple candy, people! And handmade chocolates!! Great for gifts, and for a lil’ treat. Needless to say, ours were gone in under a week. I think that’s a new record.

And, finally, we stopped in Bennington. It was past our usual lunch by this point (we gave the baby an organic pouch at one stop, but he’s a ravenous lunatic when he hasn’t eaten…like his mama), so we were incredibly lucky to find a little cafe with awesome local food and drinks still open. A sandwich that was killed by how much spicy mustard it contained and more butternut squash soup for me (I’d had some at the Inn the night before that tasted like the best soup I’d ever had…ever), a grilled cheese sandwich for the monkey, and I can’t for the life of me remember what Dave got…maybe panini. Or something. Definitely coffee.
After our late lunch, we went to the Bennington Monument that we’ve been visiting since well before we got engaged and took some new pictures next to our buddies — a statue and a random plywood militia man. Hadley also socialized with anyone he could get close enough to and ran around like a fool. It was awesome.

Yeah. I know. Too awesome for words.

Here we have the last leg of our trip: a stop by Camelot Village (just outside Bennington). This is where things went a tad South. Hadley could’ve easily taken more outside energy-using activity, but instead we brought him into a huge venue full of breakable antiques. Stupid grown-ups. He wanted to touch EVERYTHING and started (predictably) whining and screaming when we picked him up. The stroller wouldn’t have fit through the aisles, either, so he was “on the loose” (I wish I had brought my Ergo, but I’m not sure he would’ve been contained). So, we went to the surrounding areas only to discover that things had changed (for the worse), finally deciding that I’d stay in the car with the monkey while Dave perused the antiques quickly. When he was done (and the baby was asleep), I took a quick walk through. Neither of us found anything worthwhile (or priced well enough to want), so we left empty-handed and happy to be heading home.

The rest of the trip took a couple of hours, so we got home in time to feed the annoyed, ravenous, yet strangely happy cats — it was clear that they had missed their boy, and it warms my heart to think of how affectionate they were when they saw us. They’re usually quite friendly little creatures, but the love that poured out for Hadley was just so darn evident.

While we headed back to work and normalcy the next day, I remain very glad that we took the leap into travel with our little man. We once made a list, while heading home from our honeymoon, of goals to maintain in our relationship and life. One that has stuck out stronger than any others was this: “When we one day have children, we will accept them into our lives, not completely change to suit the children.”

Of course, we knew that LIFE would change with a child (and we expected that when we wrote it), but what we meant — that we still wanted to have adventures, that we wanted to keep searching local, organic and healthier eating options, that we still wanted to go antiquing and history-hunting and the dozens of other things that we like to do — was ultimately that we want to share all those things with our young ones. We also want to acclimate them to a change in routine, the idea that the world does not revolve around their beautiful little noggins (well, the one noggin, for now – ha!), that certain behavior is expected in certain places, and, mostly, that there’s a great big world out there for them to discover, enjoy, and take advantage of.

And I think we’re on our way.

Our Little Pumpkin

We’re starting traditions pretty early in our little family. Santa started his annual visits last year. We can’t WAIT for Hadley to have his first big turkey day feast (we already know he’ll eat everything that goes before him, so we’ll give him a little of everything…I’m strangely excited!). And, for Halloween, we’ve got a lil’ costume planned for his day at the sitter’s (his grandma) and a later trip to my parents’ for a quick trick-or-treat visit. (We think he’s too young to do the regular trick-or-treating thing. We’re also up-in-the-air about the fact that, in the future, we’d like for him to experience these traditions and the fun and excitement of trick-or-treating, but wish there was a way to lessen the gluttonous candy-based intent behind the whole thing.) He also wore a giraffe “costume” last year, but being only three months, he just kinda…sat there.

But, we already started the spooky tradition this weekend. Meet Hadley’s twin…

Traditions - image blogger-image--1742145860 on https://megactsout.com

Dave watched our lil’ monster (not really) while I cut in and scooped out the brrrraaaaains, brrrraaaaaiiiins!! By far the suckiest part of the job. I sketched a not-too-scary face that looked just enough like Hadman – he’s got two teeth that are fully in flanked by two teeth that are partially grown.

I used a safety pumpkin cutter thingamabob and started hacking away before Dave started hovering. He finally asked if he could help — I didn’t realize he was interested, yay!

We strapped Hadley into his Space Saver chair and gave him a quickly-drawn pumpkin to “color” (he poked it with the orange before we realized he was more interested in trying to eat the crayon than color…ya win some, ya lose some), but he also intently watched the creation of his jack-o’-lantern. That’s when I snapped these pics.

I put a real candle in to see what type of glow we’d created…not too shabby. (We’ve gotta track down our LED mini-candle to put it outside.) Oh, and Jasper stood watch…

Traditions - image blogger-image-1187505188 on https://megactsout.com

And, now, the scary part — putting it outside on our stoop. I’m a tad terrified that it’ll get stolen and smashed. Yeah, we have hooligans in our area. It’s never happened to our small pumpkins in the past, but this one may be too cute for those brats to resist. *fingers crossed* It’s lasted a couple of nights so far.

Oh, and for the record, I wasted the seeds. We already had some on-hand (purchased, wop wop) and I was pretty tired from toddler-wrangling to go through the process of sifting through the brains/guts. I’ll roast ’em in the future (and undoubtedly post a recipe, hee hee), when the monkey can actually eat some.

We also made some popcorn and drank some cider after the baby went down for the night, while watching an awesome Halloween documentary. That’s another tradition for Mama and Papa that we do before almost every major holiday — watch a documentary on its meaning. Dave has tracked down several very high-quality ones, for Halloween, Christmas and Thanksgiving. We’re geeks and we know it. 🙂

What about you? Kids or not, do you cut into some pumpkins? Or roast some seeds? Cider? Popcorn? Caaaandy? Do tell!

Debt Diet

We’re going on a diet at our house. Nope, not THAT kind of diet. (I addressed something like that recently, though!)

Dave recently sent me a link to an article on an awesome blog, And Then We Saved. The writer, Anna, went on a Spending Fast® for a year and swept away her $24k in debt (actually, it was a total of 15 months, but I’m not sure if she was on the “diet” or “fast” that whole time…need to read more). There are some incredible tips on this site, and I appreciate her style of attacking financial issues.

While I’m not buried under massive debt (aside from our mortgage, which I don’t intend to pay off before moving to our next house; otherwise I’ve got a washer/dryer payment, car payment, and a tiny credit card payment that’ll be paid off this month :-)), my husband is still paying off some hefty student loans. Given that, I’d like to find a variation on the fast/diet to meet our needs and help me get better control of my monthly payments and a greater head-start on savings. I suppose we could call it “gaining control.”

The thing that I love here is the fact that I am far from a “Type A” personality, and the structure of this whole shebang is perfect for me. I’ve tried to budget a million times, and my brain simply doesn’t work that way. Go ahead and try to explain it to me; I just can’t do it. But, I’m not admitting defeat! There’s more than one way to make breakfast, y’know.

Which is why I’m doing a variation of what Anna touts. A fast is extreme; extremity tends to push me to the brink of giving up. However, if I can make some “serious” changes rather than extreme ones, it’s more likely to stick. It also means that it can lead to bigger and bigger changes — sticking in my toe, then my foot, then jumping in.

Another reason I can’t see myself doing a full fast *right now* is that it’s October and I’ve got some Christmas shopping to do. 😉 We’re putting limits on everything and everyone, so it should be a basic, all-about-the-memories sort of year (and I’m stickin’ to it!) but this aligns more with the diet than the fast concept. I know this sounds like an excuse, but it’s actually just realistic thinkin’.

Alrighty, so, all that explaining boils down to this:

Following the How to do a Spending Diet guidelines, here’s my list of “NEEDS” (asterisked are the items that I can try to reduce; whether that proves to be possible or not is yet to be seen, but I shall try!):

– Mortgage
– Cable/Internet (WISH I could get this reduced further :-\)
– Food* (Only. Buying. What. We. NEED. I’ve been working on wasting less, and I think it’s sticking, but then I go and buy extra yogurt when Dave has an unopened pack sitting in the fridge. Grrr. Silly mistake, lady!)
– Cell Phone* (Dave and I share this; depending on our usage, we may be able to choose cheaper coverage, woot woot)
– Car (already refinanced…can’t get it any lower…although these payments will be over in about a year)
– Insurance (car and home)
– One small credit card use (Kohl’s be damned)
– New washer/dryer payment* (I was gifted some $ which I need to get deposited in order to make an extra payment here; this will help lessen my payments for the duration of the year)
– Automatic deductions from my paycheck are sticking; I’m at the lowest as far as retirement contributions, blah
– Cat care (food ‘n litter; Dave and I split this here and there, depending on who gets to PetSmart first)
– Gasoline* (Can’t help driving to and from work, but we need to get our trips to the Utica area under control…like, not every weekend and not during the week unless for a doctor’s appointment or something important; Dave works out there, and we often have to take 2 cars, which sucks.)

Side note: Dave pays utilities and half the cell bill — I do hope to pay more attention to the thermostat (but keeping it regulated as far as the baby’s concerned; not gonna kick it down to 58 when he’s home) and simple electricity use, which we’ve gotten away from. Say, right now, the kitchen light’s on and QVC’s playing in the background. I clearly don’t need Today’s Special Value and no one’s hanging out in the kitchen. Off and off.
So, since these are all “needs”, when the “need” arises, I’ll shell over the ka-ching and try not to stress myself out doing so. When it comes to the non-needs, the time of year that I’m starting this little experiment dictates that I’m not “fasting” (only spending on “needs”), which means that I’ll allow myself a chunk of change.

I’m choosing $150 per month for incidentals (but trying hard NOT to use that amount; post-holidays, I’ll reevaluate and possibly cut it back to $100 or less), be they clothes/makeup (a rare expense)/haircut (even rarer – maybe once a year)/entertainment/eating out/gifts/home decor stuff/cat toys (ahem)/etc. Once I’ve used up this cash, I cannot spend on ANYTHING other than the NEEDS above. This essentially means that we won’t be eating out (maybe once a month, even if it means ordering a pizza), buying clothes for myself, buying a bunch of books just because they’re on clearance (dude, it’s still not free) or sinking tons of money into the house. Looks like I’ll be working on some organizing; that’s free! And maybe an on-sale can of paint here and there. *cough*diningroom*cough*

The tough thing here? I already mentioned it — Christmas. I do have quite a bit saved in Christmas Club, but not everything I need (especially since we need to purchase a real tree), so this should get interesting. But, I feel almost like this is more of a game. My ultimate goal is to gift purposefully, with items that the person will enjoy and want, that I put lots of thought (not necessarily cashola) into. Heck, sometimes it’s a gift card; sometimes it’s a little homemade sumpin’ sumpin’. PINTEREST, HERE I COME!!! I’m hoping this makes it a more memorable holiday, as well. No new ornaments, so it’ll be a hodgepodge sort of tree, but at least we purchased the tree stand and LED lights already. Hoping to spend minimally on more decorations as well as things like wrapping paper, etc.

It’s also a game to see how little I can spend/how much I can save per month, in general. Looking at it this way makes it feel a little less stressed and simply more vigilant about my purchases. I’m forced to question myself instead of being a thoughtless consumer (hate that term!!! Hate even more that I am one!!!) “Yes, it’s a good price, but do I NEED it?” I’ve also read about sleeping on purchases, which is a very valuable tip. It’s easy to say, “But, I won’t be coming back to this area tomorrow” or “But, the sale ends today!” It WILL be on sale again, and when it is, if it’s still something that will serve a purpose and that I NEED to have in my life or will truly benefit me in some way, then I’ll get it.

Time to dig out my tiny notebook for incidental tallying! The heat is on! What method do you use to ~~budget~~ (hate that term) maintain spending? How do you control your holiday expenses? I’d love to hear YOUR thoughts and methods!

Happy Friday!

I thought that it would be a fun way to celebrate Friday (even on shortened weeks, a Friday is well-earned lately!) to provide a lil’ guide for Black Friday.

Wait, what?!

Yep, I said Black Friday.

Dude, it’s mid-October!!

I’m aware.

But…like…we haven’t even had Halloween yet!!! Isn’t Black Friday, like, 6 weeks away??

Mhmm. BUT, Thanksgiving is wicked late this year (it even overlaps with Hanukkah for the first time, like, ever! No, that’s not true, but it’s the first time in a super long time), meaning that Black Friday, too, is super late and pretty darn close to Christmas.

So, if you’re hoping to scoop up some good deals and get a great crack at your Christmas list on that Day o’ Craziness, I’ve got some tips to help you make the most of the day — meaning spending less money, wasting less time, and maintaining some semblance of your sanity.

It’s kind of funny because we may not even keep our Black Friday tradition this year. My sister and I have been doing it since…well, at least 6 years, I think, but it might go back even further (with every gray hair that shows itself, my memory wanes a bit more). We’ve had every type of experience you can imagine, sans the violence (although there has been some national news-making violence at nearby stores while we were at a nice, safe department store…those wackos). Now, with a couple of cuties (not our husbands, though we lucked out in that department) at home, we want to be sure it’s worth our while to get up at 3, or 4, or 5 to fight the crowds. It looks 50/50 right now, depending on how our lists stack up.

Anyhoo, we still have plenty of knowledge to pass on, so here’s a list to get you ready; the name of the game is PREPARE YOURSELF!:

– Know your ads! We’ve had years (last year was one of them) that we didn’t even peak at the ads until Thanksgiving evening. Not saying that’s stupid…but it’s not the smart thing to do. 😉 Sign up for email updates to see when the ads are leaking (hint: they’re already starting! I got the MACY*S one today…and, if you’re brave enough, the Walmart one is available, too.), and I even downloaded the free app to my phone from blackfriday.com (there are plenty of reliable sites like this one, too). Compare prices in advance!

– Keep a list! Santa does it; you should, too. Yes, you should have a list of everyone you need to buy for and what to get them, but this is a different list. I tend to set it up by store, then item (sometimes in parenthesis I’ll jot down who it’s for…as you can see, I love a good parenthetical notation ;-)) WITH BRAND NAME, COLOR, SIZE, AND HOW MUCH IT COSTS. The last thing you want to do is grab the wrong brand name and end up paying $10 more for a shirt (this doesn’t sound like much, but this is the meaning of BF — the difference between paying $27 for a dress shirt and $17 — and don’t get me started on $9 jeans!!!). You will NOT have time at the check-out to run back and grab what you meant to get. Plus, that line of folks behind you will definitely be shooting you the Grinch-eye. Oh, and keep a polite-but-firm eye on the cash register as things get rung-up. Know thy sale item, know thy price.

– Know your stores! Keep in mind what your favorite stores/products are. If you don’t usually shop at a store, it’s cool to check out their ads in advance, but generally if you don’t like their products (sorry, Sears!), it’s not worth your time and energy to go to that store. Our favorites to peruse in advance are JCP, MACY*S and Kohl’s, with the occasional Old Navy or Target check. This year, I’ll also be staring down the Toys ‘R Us ad, mostly for clothes (since we’re swimming in toys, and we let Santa get the nice, eco-friendly toys that we enjoy playing with, too ;-)). Then, we pick which ones are the most worth our time and visit them in order of relevance. Some years, JCP is our big haul (they have great sales on sheets and towels, and most of Dave’s clothes come from awesome BF sales; I over-buy and put stuff aside for his birthday, which is in February…sneaky wife), while other years Kohl’s is.

– Team up! You may notice I don’t mention Kmart or Walmart. I’ve learned from past experience that Kmart is not usually worth our energy (plus, the one we go to tends to be a bit…ghetto….), and if we need something from Walmart or Best Buy, we send in the big guns: Dave’s brother-in-law and his young adult sons. I swear, they have nerves of steel and are MADE for the strategy of The Great Electronics Battle. Mary and I stay safely in our comfort zone of slippers and ties and pillows. Even Target and Old Navy are rare (unless there’s a huge deal) because folks get cut-throat at these places. Like, crazy.

There is power in numbers, though. If it’s worth the trip, (meaning, you can check a lot of items off your list) walk in the door already knowing what you need, let your partner-in-crime jump in the already-long-line and hunt down BOTH of your items. Be sure to bring along a cell phone to check in (“did you want this color blue or that color blue for John’s sweater?”).

Heck, we even have an annual early-morning phone call with our mom (she’s usually up before 5am, anyway) to let her know how our haul’s going and whether we were able to pick up the items she gave us to grab her. Oh, yeah, we also help out family with anything they may need. It’s the season of helping/loving/sharing, folks!!

And, here are some stress-lifter ideas:

– Remember the reason for the season! I’m not getting all religious-y here, but I’m just reminding you that the reason you’re buying gifts is that you want to share them with the people you love the most. This is NOT about “the hunt” (much as those Target ads try to teach you); it’s about the giving. And if you can save some cash in the process, hooray for you!

That being said, back when Mary and I used to stand in line before the doors opened (I’ll get to that in a minute), we had a habit of drinking cocoa/coffee and singing Christmas carols — especially if there were flurries in the air. Some folks would start singing along; others gave us the evil eye, but we had fun! It was like we were welcoming in the holiday season in our own, crazy way. I highly suggest doing this, or even making your own tradition — go in PJs, or ugly holiday sweaters, or wear Santa hats!

– DON’T knock down the doors! Over the years, we learned that if we waited even 15 minutes, we didn’t have to wait in a line in the cold, pushing our way in (that’s not really our style, anyway); we could leisurely stroll in since the line had already dissipated into the store. The deals WON’T be gone if you wait 15 minutes, or even 30 minutes, or maybe even 1 hour. Oftentimes, we’d go to a pillow display and think they were all gone, only to have a clerk roll out a bin to re-stock. If you can’t find something, ask.

Also, a lot of these deals actually extend over the weekend, so stop by that Saturday or Sunday. The crowds will still be there (heck, that’s how it’ll be up until Christmas Eve; for me, it’s not the crowds, but the crazy drivers that drive me NUTS), but a little less exuberant/rude, and you still might get some good deals.

– Stay home! Yes, I said that. We may do it this year; who knows? Some of these deals are available online. Heck, some deals are available at midnight (or 8pm on Thanksgiving…but I’m not a fan of that) online, so find out if it’ll be worth NOT fighting over a TV and try to grab it online. Oh, and a lot of these deals extend for weeks, so keep checking back over the coming weeks to see if their stock is replenished.

– Know the store’s hours and procedures! Save yourself a headache. Some stores are opening up earlier and earlier, so the “doorbuster” deals may not be worth it if you show up at 5am only to realize folks scooped them up between 8pm and 12am. Also, some stores hand out vouchers to the first 50 people (or some number like that), so even if you show up at 5, the people who have been in line since their last bite of turkey the day before claim dibs on the item. This is most common at electronics stores like Best Buy (and sometimes at Walmart).

So, there you have it! Some ideas for those of us who are brave enough to venture out on Black Friday.

What about you? Have you ever done Black Friday? Any tips to add? Or do you have a post-Thanksgiving tradition (whether shopping or movie-going or cooking or decorating)? Do tell!

Side note: We do try to buy a good percentage (between 25 and 50%) of our gifts from local producers/sellers.

Image is a royalty-free image from Getty Images.

Perfect Party

FINALLY! Yes, I’m finally going to chat about the Hadman’s first birthday party. It was almost a month away, so you’d think it was about time, right? You’re invited…to the recap! Here we go.

The day was perfect. Seriously. There were no major glitches (and only a couple of minor ones). The rain, all but for a gentle mist, even stayed at bay. Lucky, lucky, lucky. The only thing, after the fact, that saddens me is that I didn’t get pictures of the decor (well, a couple)…or food (nada)…or activities (zilch). I know folks took some pictures of other stuff, but I should have taken a bunch of the decorations (y’know, the ones that took me hours of nap times to craft) and all that before folks arrived. Here’s what we’ve got….

Bad blogger. Horrible blogger, actually. *slaps wrist* I made three different sizes of poufs totaling about 12 altogether, in various sizes…several strings of pendants…a sign for the front yard. Here were a few “before” shots from home…

But, I digress. It wasn’t a day about me. It was totally a day about the Hadman. And it was awesome!

The celebration was at my mother’s house (thanks, Mom! Not that I’m sure you’re reading…?) since she has the most useable space for such a shindig. My sister was sweet enough to come out the night before to help with decorating and setup, and man was there food. Like, at least twice what we actually needed. Yeah, ’twas nuts…and a blast.

We had some awesome family and friends come to celebrate, which made the day so fun and special. To give us some more space (with some shade), we erected a screen house/tent in the lawn for extra people to sit under, in addition to the carport area that my parents use as a nice, private patio.

So, folks arrived around 1pm and we directed them towards the food. (Not sure how many times I said, “There’s food! Please eat, or it’s going home with you!!” It didn’t. It went home with us. Full disclosure: I just found a half-eaten pizza at the bottom of the piles on my dining room table. There was mold, people.) The funny thing was that they lingered quite a bit before finally digging in. I don’t know if it was because of our set-up or what, but we ended up grabbing the snacky stuff and throwing them in bowls, and plating up a variety of the pizza, and putting them at the tables. Somehow, it worked.

That said, a quick shout-out to our buddies. The few pictures we did get make it look like we had, seriously, 8 people there. We didn’t. It was upwards of 25, give or take. Just lots of playing and in-and-out of the house and playing in the yard going on.

I can’t remember the order, but after awhile of eating and bringing the birthday boy around to see folks, we did cake. I think. Yeah, cake then presents. Here’s a little snippet of what it was like. Our often very serious, cautious, (over-thinking) boy was pretty…dainty. Hee hee.

First. Sugar. Ever. I also shared a cupcake or two with him in the days following. Oh, and I did use a variation of this recipe. I tasted it. ‘Twas good, but not “birthday cake-like” (spongey) as we might hope. But, it got the job done, and he liked it.

While the root beer floats were being served (somehow, I even had time to taste one), we got the gift-opening underway. Holy crap, we lucked out. It is, however, where I got this post (and subsequent “shopping trips” from our ottoman in months to come). Love it!

As far as the nitty gritty, here was our menu:

Except my “H” cookies were as hard as a rock. And seeing “sandwiches” sitting all innocent and tiny like that makes me laugh. For real. I ordered bread. I stocked up, then stocked up again on piles of roast beef, turkey and the makings of an “Italian mixed sub” sort of thing. (Time to vote: What the heck do YOU put on a mixed sub?? The girl behind the counter and I were racking our brains, and a woman nearby who mentioned bologna lost all of our respect. Seriously, bologna??) Yeah. Add on homemade horseradish sauce (in addition to the usual condiments) and a variety of cheeses AND lettuces (arugula, anyone? Spinach?), and I spent hours planning and assembling those puppies. They were epic.

There was a bit of fun to be had, too, like…

We also printed off some facts about July 13th (it’s a holiday now, y’know) for the tables, and put party hats around for folks to wear. (And those that didn’t get worn did double-duty as decor.)

A few interesting facts: Hadley shares his special day with Julius Caesar, Patrick Stewart, Harrison Ford, and Cameron Crowe. Some pretty strong men, oof! Also, it’s the day that JFK was nominated by the Democratic party, the day of the Live Aid rock festival, the day of a big power-outage in NYC (in 1977) that wreaked havoc, and (my favorite) the day the “Hollywoodland” sign was dedicated. So cool!

Anyhoo, after the cake and gifting, we shoved everyone into the living room for a viewing of the sweet, tearjerker video that Dave made. I may or may not be able to persuade him to share it on his blog. 😉 There were laughs. There were tears (many, many tears). There was gratuitous thievery of popular songs (ones that we had sung or heard a lot before he was born, except for “Beautiful Boy”, but since our wedding song was “Real Love”, we had to include it). No harm meant. 🙂

After the movie viewing, folks were free to leave (sounds like jail) or to hang out. The birthday boy got a nap followed by a ton of backyard playing with the cousins, while we got to chat with folks more casually (and clean up…and clean up…and clean up). All in all, it was a very “Hadley” day: fun, yummy, silly, a bit scheduled (it kind of had to be to avoid meltdowns) yet casual and laid-back.

Handmade Birthday Party

Hey, folks! Things are well under way for a super duper first birthday for our little monkey this Saturday. I’m still working on putting together certain finishing touches and last minute food (going for freshy fresh), but thought I’d share some of the decorations I’ve whipped up for the special day. After all, what says “We love you, buddy!” more than handmade stuff?

First of all, I’m hoping to hang several sizes of poufs around my mom’s carport ceilings, if I can get up that high. Otherwise, I’ve seen them strewn on tables, which will look cool, too. They are currently, however, sitting in plastic bags awaiting their transport to the party place. So, you’ll have to wait to see a picture of the whole set-up, in case you don’t already know what a “pouf” is. Well, there are a couple meanings, but ANYhoo…segue!

Ahem, speaking of hanging, I also cut up some triangles for a few pennant banners to reuse year after year. Eco, baby! And cute, at that! Oh, and the effort in this one might’ve been futile, but I made a felt birthday crown with my expert sewing skills. (snicker) There’s a 50/50 chance the kid’ll wear it, but I can snip the “1” off and put on other numbers or a star for next year. Try, try again! 🙂

Traditions - image blogger-image-1203297860 on https://megactsout.com

Details, details. I’ve done up some little cards with facts about Hadley’s birthday (like what famous people share it) for fun. I also whipped up some “time capsule” forms that folks can fill in for Hadley to read on his 18th birthday. Hopefully I can find room for all this stuff!

We even have a mini “banner” for the smash cake, which I totally eyeballed and am shocked that came out so sweet. Aww. Again, hope to use it next year, and the next, and the next…. Oh, and I yarn-wrapped the “H,” which will probably find its way into Had’s room.

Traditions - image blogger-image--1873518199 on https://megactsout.com

The last non-food homemade goodie we made for the day is THE BEST. And, of course, who made it? The dorky daddy, himself. Yup. He’s my very own personal director, cinematographer, editor, etc., so with plenty of tears, he spliced together a full year’s worth of pictures and videos, boiling it down to just over 14 minutes of bittersweet memories. So. Emotional!

Out little monkey is a big boy! He’s even taken his first few steps over the last week or so. Sigh. These first birthday celebrations are as much about the fact that the parents survived the first year as they are about the baby (not that the day is about us — it’s 100% him).

So, that being said, off to work on the food! Can’t wait to share how it all goes. (Side note: I’m a tad anxious about it as if it was a tiny wedding. Is that weird??)

A Day for Fathers

The oh-so-recent recent Father’s Day holiday has always been a bittersweet one for me, and I assume for my family. While we live our lives in completely normal ways (normal is relative, of course), this time of the year always breaks me down a tad. Okay, sometimes more than a tad. I’m a freaking wreck.

I have two memories of Father’s Days past.

The first one involves sitting in our tiny chairs and desks in Mrs. Golembiowski’s third grade class, working hard on our gifts. Kids were sitting and talking about why their fathers were special, all clearly focusing on the person to whom their gifts would so lovingly be presented.

A handful of years prior, my father had passed away from melanoma. It was just shy of my fourth birthday, and though I was so young, I had some basic memories of him. When I figured out the meaning behind what had happened (namely, he was gone F-O-R-E-V-E-R), I mentally aged about twenty years. After that, I always felt slightly detached from my peers.

However, my heart was full of joy. While I don’t remember the gift we were making, I fully recall that I was excited to be giving it to my grandfather – “Grandpa Heidi.” I adored him more than any person I knew. If I could be a shadow, I’d be his. I still feel this way.

My thoughts were shattered by a sudden blunt question.

“Megan, why are YOU making one? You don’t have a father. You shouldn’t be allowed to make a present.”

I don’t remember which classmate made the comment. I just remember that I knew it was said with no other reason but than to make me feel horrible. Of all the hurtful things that were said over the years to me or about me (we had quite the drama queen-filled grade, and I hate to admit that there were times that I was a part of the problem), this was the worst. Chalk it up to “kids being kids”…?

So, as I silently finished my gift, tears streaming down my face and leaving a puddle on my desk, I focused on who would receive the gift. This is where the second memory kicks in.

That Sunday, as with all holidays, we piled in the Buick and headed to Grandma and Grandpa’s house. It was a day that left a heavy lump in our throats, but a day to celebrate the wonderful grandfather who played the role of surrogate father, showing more love to us, in some ways, better than he did his own children.

As the gifts — a new L.L. Bean shirt, a bottle of whisky — piled up at his feet, he finally opened mine, a wide smile spreading across his face. Of all the gifts, he treated that little tchochke with as much value as a new car. It was enough to heal my heart of the harshness dealt me earlier in the week.

Years later, as we cleaned out his house after he had moved into a nursing home, we found several of those gifts that I had made — particularly, a chunk of wood with a cool little bird decoupaged on the back and a clothespin glued to the front with “Megan” scrolled in my teacher’s best cursive. He was still using it to hold bills on his intimidating bank desk in his dark cave of an office.

After awhile, my mother remarried a man who has since become a great stepdad and a doting grandfather to my son, despite my efforts to make his life miserable (ahh, teen years). Even with so many father figures in my life, it’s still been a lifetime of bittersweet Father’s Days.

But, now there’s a new focus. While the incredibly sexist, grillmaster-golfing-with-bermuda-shorts-laden commercials (Honestly! Where’s my dorky daddy commercial with Dads snuggling up while reading comic books to their offspring?) relegate the holiday to yet another Hallmark Holiday, I embrace it, for I now know a daddy who deserves all the attention, love and, yes, gifts this day will allow.

This year, it was time to celebrate a first-year father. One year ago, Dave knew nothing of diaper changes and was quietly terrified of doing ANYTHING wrong, but was eager and 100% supportive (not to mention trusting that I knew what I was doing…which I did…kind of). I watched a fast evolution from sweet husband into incredible father. Not knowing the ins-and-outs of fatherhood, myself, I saw his protectiveness take form. I saw a man who literally spent an afternoon sitting in one awkward position on the couch because the baby had slipped down and he didn’t know how to get out of the position shift into a daddy completely comfortable picking up, holding, carrying, moving, buckling, and snuggling (and, yes, even sleeping) with his son. I saw a man fall in love, his heart full of wanting the best of everything — knowledge, safety, freedom for the child to follow his heart and happiness — for this little, clueless being. I saw a father born.

Daddy with a 6-week-old munchkin monkey. My, what a year does.

So, this year, the baby and I stopped for a visit with Grandpa, yes. We skipped a trip to my father’s headstone, but mostly due to weather — we will raise Hadley with the knowledge that he had a grandfather that he won’t meet (and that sometimes it’s what makes Mommy a tad crazy), but also that he has two on earth who love him more than life itself. Over the weekend, we visited with my stepdad and Dave’s dad, exchanging gifts, stories, and appreciation. But, mostly, we celebrated a new daddy with new clothes (a polo, gasp!), some homemade baby wall or desk art (silhouette!), and a pretty kick-arse french toast breakfast. And, we’re lucky, he loved it all. Our dorky daddy.

I hope everyone had a very happy Father’s Day — all those inspirational dads out there, be they biological, grand-, step-, adopted, or simply fill an important role for someone in need of a father; whether your kids are grown, still small, or just a glimmer in your thoughts, for the fathers in life and the fathers in heart and the fathers in spirit, you’re what gives the world its solid foundation, and we couldn’t do any of this without you. We love you, dads.