toddler – Page 3

Sorry I’m Sorry

The Dorky Daddy recently posted a heartfelt admission of an issue that he deals with, which is so admirable and awesome since a lot of guys don’t admit to it. I felt it was important to reiterate that it’s actually an issue for the whole family. Namely, I do it, too.

We’re uncontrollable apologizers. And we’re officially sorry about it.

You’ll see on his post the moment that the truth hit us, but let’s just say that our unnecessary apologizing has been passed on to our 2-year-old son. Yup. Show any sign of distress, and he immediately starts faux crying while saying “I sowwy, Mama. Sowwy, Mama.”

Lose something. “Sowwy, Mama!”

Spill something. “I sowwy, Mama! So sowwy!!”

Punish over something. “Sowwy!!” (Okay, that last one is awesome, but he doesn’t know to say “sorry” for doing something wrong; just because we’re upset.)

Some might say it’s not a big deal, or that it’s not a bad problem to have an apologetic kid.

To that I say, well, keep it to yourself. (Yeah. I went there.) You get to feel what’s best or worse for your kids. We get to use our (in this case shared) intuition to decide that this is a problem for us. He’s no off-the-wall, drug-abusing kid, of course, so it is all relative…but it still concerns us. And the fact that our apologetic ways allow people to discredit our feelings is something I’d rather Hadley not have to deal with, too.

Sorry for the blunt moment, but it was needed.

Wait. No. I’m not sorry. God, this is so damn difficult.

Taking the energy down for a moment *turns dial* let’s address the reasons that apologizing can be a negative thing. List time:

* Sometimes…just once in awhile…it’s a manifestation of passive aggressiveness. We all have frustrations on a daily basis. At work. At the grocery store. (I can’t COUNT how many times in one trip I’ll apologize to people at Hannaford for something I didn’t do.) Out clothes shopping. Heck, at home with your partner. If someone ticks you off, be it in a big or small way, sometimes “sorry” pops out when you’re actually upset about something…and aren’t REALLY sorry.

And, I’ll admit. When someone walks in my way or steals the spot in line or takes advantage of me at work…I will passive aggressively say, “Oh, I’m so sorry!” *raises hand* I do it. It’s been done.

* Insincere or overused apologies lose their meaning. The more you say “sorry”, the less you really mean it. The more I hear Dave say it, it simply blends into the conversation. Sure, it’s a word of kindness (usually), but we need to learn how to use our TONE of LANGUAGE to display our kindness rather than jumping around the kitchen apologizing for tripping over each other.

* Apologizing without thought gives the other person the upper hand. Totally. I tend to apologize as a kindness tactic — regularly saying “Oops! So sorry you caught me eating my lunch. Sorry! What’s up?” Seriously. They interrupted MY lunchtime (which I was trying to get work done during) and I’m hoping, at the very least, to receive an acknowledgement that I’m being put out a bit before dropping my sandwich and helping them out.

Instead, I’ve often found that the person disregards it completely and continues on, like a bulldozer, with whatever their own needs are. My confidence issues ain’t gettin’ any better with crap like that goin’ down. It is what it is, and it’s not great.

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So, yeah. There’s more, but that’s the general idea of the thing. Our goal is to raise a happy, healthy, kind, intelligent, confident young man. Part of confidence is being comfortable with yourself and knowing how to act in situations. Regardless of how we appear, Dave and I both have confidence and self-esteem issues. The last thing we want is to pass these on to our beautiful little man. Last thing.

Dave is doing great at trying to identify when “sorry!” is an acceptable response and when it’s probably not the best go-to. He’s not phasing it out completely; that’s not the point. It’s knowing when to say it and when it’s not necessary. That’s all.

I, actually, already started working on my sorryisms at work last year. It. Was. Hard. There was definitely a bit of acting needed to help me learn how to not get plowed over (I also used the sorries as a way to be kind, which often got me screwed over). And, y’know what? It kinda worked. There are still people who are just always going to be hard nuts to crack (which is fine), and I learned which people respect some confidence and some boundaries.

I didn’t start implementing it in other parts of my life. I didn’t think it seemed necessary. But, now it seems it is.

Here are a few of the ways that we’ve been addressing the issue:

* I’ve been talking to Hadley in a low-key, “it’s not a big deal” sort of way when he says it. We talk briefly about why he said it, and usually why it’s not needed. If it IS needed, I’ll say something like, “It was good of you to say you were sorry. When you *did such-and-such naughty act*, you were making bad choices and hurting our feelings, so it was a good thing to say ‘sorry’ about.” Or whatevs. I’ve seen a quick decrease in his use of the word. Sometimes a quick one or two sentence chat gets into his smart little brain better than a super big lecture or hitting him over the head with it.

* We’re not doing anything like a “Sorry Jar” or anything so drastic. Sometimes an apology is totally warranted, especially in marriage or in the day-to-day. But, we’ll gently remind each other, “Honey, you said ‘sorry’ and it’s totally cool, you didn’t do anything wrong.” While Dave likens it to quitting smoking (it’s definitely a habit), it’s not the sort of thing you need to kick yourself over when you accidentally let one slip. Sorry happens. It’s a process.

* If I’m truly sorry for something, I state why. I like to use “I’m sorry because…” any time I’m actually admitting a mistake or a poor wording or any number of reasons. Self realization is where it’s at. It also makes the apology carry so much more weight. It gives “sorry” back its importance.

* We’re having issues, but working on finding replacements for “sorry.” It’s difficult because there’s a sweetness attached to it that nothing can match. Again, it all depends on the situation. Sometimes it’s best just to cut it out. Other times, say someone’s having a bad day, just responding “Dude, that sucks” doesn’t show enough empathy. So, we’re feeling it out. Saying “I’m sorry your day is so terrible” might just have to be a replacement for the time being.

And just because I prefer to end on a positive note, and I hate that I was super harsh at the beginning of the post (I’m not sorry, but I don’t want it to be taken the wrong way), here are some of the awesome things about “sorry”:

* Sorry can melt your heart when it’s said at the right time…especially by someone who’s admitting a wrong or who happens to be an adorable 2-year-old who seems to be connecting to you while saying it.

* Sorry can hold so much power, when used sparingly. When you truly make a mistake and can own up to it (the hardest part), saying “I’m truly sorry” and owning the problem, then finding a way to fix it, it can earn you respect. Or not. But maybe!

Care to add anymore positive things about “I’m sorry”?

Traveling with a Toddler

Since we’ve had some time to return to normalcy after our vacation and documented all the fun, I thought it’d be a good time to share a list of tips we picked up from traveling with our little 2-year-old Hadman. I already shared a fun list of items that help when traveling with tots, and all that stuff helped BIG-TIME with the trip.

Oh, and this was a road trip (no planes involved) and wasn’t super long (4 1/2+ hours, tops). I’m sure people who have traveled 8-12 hours in a car (or, God bless you, on a plane!) with a little one can come up with even better ideas. If you’ve got ’em, share ’em in the comments!

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Tip #1: Let go of expectations. I went into this trip over-planning (on purpose; it’s how I roll), but knowing all the while that I should keep my expectations low. Would we make it to even a fraction of the places I hoped to visit? Nope. Will he enjoy the planned activities as much as I hoped he would? Probably not (or enjoy them for 5 minutes or less before indicating that he was done). Should I expect perfection from a 2-year-old? Never.

So, going into vacation with this more laid-back attitude was SO helpful. The places we ended up hitting were awesome and we made tons of family memories, with minimal meltdowns. The places that we missed, well, maybe we’ll go again when he’s a bigger boy and I’ll have a cache of ideas stored up to try.

Tip #2: Know thy child. Of course, you already know your kid. Who does better than you, really? It’s true, you rock. So, use that intuition and everything you already know about your munchkin to help you plan accordingly.

What’s your little one’s favorite thing to do? Art projects? Free play? Reading books? Running around like he needs a tiny, adorable straight jacket? Select activities that align with those interests. Our visit to the Eric Carle Museum was perfect because there was a story time (a short movie based on a book, while we were there) that he LOVED, a library with toys (books + a few great toys + a space to make a little noise = perfect for our monkey), a “very hungry caterpillar” sculpture that he could climb all over, and even an art project area that was structured in a very casual way, which helped with his short attention span but propensity for messiness.

This tip also applies to your tot’s schedule. We all know that it’s important to maintain some semblance of a schedule, with some allowance for flexibility built in, right? We tried to ensure that there was a nap time (he even took a morning nap on the long way to our destination, which was awesome and super rare) built in and that we didn’t over-schedule the day. Pick a handful of activities, but do them only if your little one’s in an adventurous mood; perhaps one active one and one chill one per day, depending on length.

And, if your kiddo does fine with eating in a restaurant, build plenty of opportunities to try some new places. Which leads me to my third tip…

Tip #3: Stay in. Never thought I’d hear myself say that. This totally doesn’t mean “give in to your naughty child” or “don’t have any fun on your trip.” Not at all.

What it DOES mean is that just because you’re on vacation, it doesn’t mean you have to be “on the go” or that you HAVE to eat every meal in a super structured restaurant environment the entire time. Unexpectedly, after a very busy first day of driving, lunching, sight-seeing, and shopping, by the time we arrived at our hotel to regroup, we realized we were exhausted. Oh, and Hadley was in full-speed-ahead mode. A lack of playtime will do that to a kid. That’s a recipe for disaster, as far as dinner was concerned. Actually, as far as a lot’s concerned.

Hence, the above picture. We ordered dinner from a nearby Italian restaurant, didn’t have to “dress for dinner”, and Hadley was able to run around the hotel room and make as much noise as he wanted while all the other guests were out to dinner. It. Was. Perfect. We kept saying what a good idea it was to stay in. Then, we got to fit in a regular bath and bedtime (although he ended up sleeping with us; c’est la vie), so it really worked out great.

The next night, we encouraged our friends to order out (vs. eating out) since they also would have an infant in tow, so we didn’t really go out to dinner at all (aside from a couple of casual lunches). And, guess what. No big. We drank a little bit with dinner and after the kids were down, we enjoyed some “adult sundaes” (ice cream + brownies + Kahlua), accompanied by wonderfully leisurely conversation. That wouldn’t have been very doable if we’d gone out, would it? Not with two kids along for the ride.

See? Stay in. It’s not a dirty word. Unless you’re a foodie. In which case, disregard.

Tip #4: Build in stops for everyone. This wasn’t a kid-centric trip, and no family trip needs to be. Sure, we built in specific stops to maintain serenity with the kiddo, but it was a pretty even vacation full of “stops for Mom, stops for Dad, stops for Child.” And when we could tick off two or three of those individuals with one activity? Jackpot!

There was a stop at one of Dave’s favorite comic stores and several friend visits for the hubby (although I like to consider his friends my friends; I’m not worthy, really) and some historical stuff and a stop at the outlets (purely professional; I needed school clothes) on the way home for wifey. Bookstores for all three. All happy.

Tip #5: Pack healthfully. Dude. Travel can be super unhealthy. And, that’s okay…to an extent. (See above “adult sundaes” reference, ahem.) But, it’s nice to have options while in the car, and never knowing where your next meal will be is a recipe for disaster. Ha. Recipe. Get it??

So, we stocked the heck up. I had one large reusable grocery bag full of our favorites: organic granola bars (for adults and tot), organic snack crackers, organic milk and juice boxes, organic fruit leather, a bunch of bananas, and a huge bag of those mini-oranges (thank you, orange hack video, for making the process a little less messy in the car — wish I could find the link again!). Oh, and I had a separate cooler bag with a ton of water and another insulated lunch bag with Hadley’s yogurt packets and stuff.

I also allowed myself some room in his lunch bag to throw in a granola bar or fruit leather so that, when we did eat at a restaurant, we could just bring the bag along to keep him satiated while waiting. Simple as that.

Tip #6: The simple things. Speaking of simple…an egg. A freaking cheap-o, neon bright plastic Easter egg. I kid you not, this thing was a game changer.

I packed a humongous bag of favorite toys for all possible situations (if you’re not getting a good mental picture already, yes, the car was loaded to the gills), and they definitely did the trick at keeping him relatively entertained there and back.

But what were the best, most entertaining things in the backseat? A cheap, plastic toy truck our neighbor gave him just before we left and a plastic Easter egg. Mind you, at our first rest stop, he saw a game where you put coins in and the egg (containing a far-too-old-for-him toy; ie choking hazard) pops out, so after we did our potty business, I let him put the coins in. The egg seriously mesmerized him (enough so that I could pop out the little monster inside and dispose of it properly without him giving two craps about it).

Sometimes it’s the little things for these little ones. Like running around the hotel room. Or popping up in your hotel crib every ten seconds to announce how HAPPY you are to be sleeping in a room with “MAMADADA!!!” Or meeting new friends only to discover you love redheads just as much as you love blondes. Or being able to finally say your distant-BFF’s name and to bear hug the heck out of him and to even display a mild understanding of sharing. Or making friends with the docents at a museum. Or being rewarded with an electronic Pink Panther ride at the outlets.

And aren’t those simple, little things the memories we sometimes inadvertently forget…the memories that really make the trip what it is? And what it is, is awesome.

Massachusetts Vacation 2014 – S. Hadley & “The Outlets”

Last I left off, we had finished our Concord adventures, met up with friends at Montague, and had just finished Hadman’s naptime in the car as we drove to our good friends in South Hadley. Today, I’ll finish up our trip recap.

I can hear the cheers from here. 😉

When we arrived, I got the super fun job of watching the bambinos so that Dave could bring our friend Josh to pick up his car, which was getting fixed.

Our friends, Josh and Missy, have an adorable, SUPER well-behaved little guy. It was awesome to see how much bigger and more active he was (scooting along and walking with help), knowing that the next time we see him, he’ll probably be walking quite well on his own and able to hold his own with the well-meaning but comes-on-too-strong tornado that is Hadley. I was ecstatic how well they played with each other, and the fact that Hadman was, for the most part, able to share and didn’t have any issues sharing the love.

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When all the adults (including mommies) were reunited, we sent the guys to get some dinner, got the kiddos bathed and down for bed (thank you, pack ‘n play!), and hunkered down for some “adult brownie sundaes” (brownies+ice cream+a splash of Kahlua, BTW.) It was so lovely to catch up with fellow parents and talk about old times (like, pre-Dave-and-I-dating times; I’m always fascinated to hear about the old adventures). Fun, relaxing, and awesome.

Hadley was up by 6:30, so I quickly got ready and packed things up. Since Josh had to work, the rest of us ran to an incredible local place for breakfast (this is when the schedule got crunched and I wasn’t able to meet up with my old friend, boo; gotta admit to the restrictions of a toddler and an inability to do EVERYTHING on one’s list). The food was local and delish, so it was nice to get a good meal in. It’s hard to know whether your next meal will be stellar when you’re traveling, y’know.

Since the weather was a bit overcast, we decided to hit up the Carle with Missy and the little guys. It’s so close and she’d never been, so it was fun to introduce her to the joint!

I wrote about our visit last year, but it seems like Had can enjoy more and try out different aspects of things every time we visit. Like the fact that he’s ALMOST at the age to sit still and try the craft projects…almost. He helped me glue and stuck a couple of pieces of tissue paper onto card stock, but I finished the rest. Whatevs. Here’s what some of that area looked like (there were classes for adults happening and a bunch of other kids, so I didn’t want to invade privacy):

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Dude. I want to recycle crayons into little molds like these! I don’t care if they’re star-shaped or what. Melting more than one color creates the “Eric Carle Effect” which is absolutely awesome. Who knew I’d be so excited?

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Note for future kiddie area: Use a tension rod, rings, and these cheap plastic binder sheets to hold artwork. Cheap and ingenious. Also beautiful when the sun shone through the windows.

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Oh, yes, and there were toys!

So, after hands-on stuff, we hit up the 8-minute video of “Naked Mole Rat Gets Dressed” (the book of which we have at home) and I was flabbergasted that he sat still for it. I mean, it was short, but considering his lack of willingness for the short Concord video, it was awesome. Oh, and the book is about being true to oneself (“Does it hurt anyone to be different? No.”), which is equally awesome.

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Enthralled.

Equally enthralling? The library (no, really…books AND toys? This kid’s idea of heaven) and the large “very hungry caterpillar” sculpture…cutout…thingamajigger.

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(Taking a picture of Dave taking a picture of Hadman? Why not?)

After picking a few cool things from the gift shop, Missy talked us into hitting up a local farm shop (which was actually the size of a grocery store!). It also worked perfectly to grab some things we didn’t have at home AND a salad from the salad bar for the road.

On our way home, we stopped at the outlet center in Lee. I’ve been desperately seeking clothes for back-to-school and everyday (particularly tops), so Dave played the hero-of-the-day staying in the car with a sleeping Hadley (then keeping him occupied when he awoke) while I darted from one store to the next. I did end up with some fun, colorful, modern stuff from, of all places, Banana Republic and Ann Taylor, then we did a quick diaper change and headed home…but not before an impromptu celebratory ride or two…

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We both agreed that, while we had a really fun time, it was good to be returning to our little boys at home and to have Sunday to unwind a bit before returning to normalcy.

Now, I still need to plan a family day to go hit up a local beach to fit in some of the “relaxation” part of summer! We also hope to take a day trip to Old Forge at the foothills of the Adirondacks; they have an awesome farmers’ market on Fridays, and we can visit all the places we hit up when we were kids — hello, putt-putt golf and Pied Piper ice cream!

So…whew! Happy to have these wonderful memories, but it was such a whirlwind! (One reason I blog about silly details like this; horrible memory.)

What’ve you been up to this summer? 🙂 Any shopping? Museum-attending? History-buffing? Antiquing? Do tell!

Massachusetts Vacation 2014 – Concord, Pt. 2 & Montague

On Monday, I described our trip to Massachusetts and our first day in Concord. Today’s post will cover “day two” at Concord (which I will forever say in my head as “Concerd” since apparently that’s how locals, and quite possibly the historical folks who lived there, say it…there’s a whole thing with how to say “Syracuse” properly, too) and our trip back to Western Mass. Y’know, for the test you’ll have on this whole thing next week.

No. There’s no test. Unless you really want one, but that’s just sick.

So, we got up after a great night’s sleep — as great as it could be with a pushy toddler wedged between two adults — and packed up every last bit of paraphernalia we’d brought into the hotel room. After loading up the car, we headed to the “Harvest Room” for our continental breakfast. We’re nothing if not cheap. Plus, I was shocked that they had organic oatmeal (which Dave ate, good boy). Hadley provided both entertainment and, to some, irritation with his feistiness and lack of willingness to eat, but we all made it through unscathed.

We drove back through town to the Concord Museum, showing up just as it opened. It was surreal and absolutely bemusing to see a man dressed in impeccably detailed Revolutionary War garb getting out of his Hyundai parked next to us. Dave almost grabbed a picture, but I’m a buzzkill. Dude, he was, like, two feet away.

We were SO lucky to show up on one of their Free Fridays (it would’ve cost us $20 otherwise), especially considering that we breezed through the whole thing in just over an hour.

We only went through the main building, but it was perfect for us. We tried to sit through the short-ish video about Concord (lots to cover, and we walked in late, so of course I missed anything regarding the transcendentalist movement or being the hub of the revolution…hmph), but Hadley immediately disliked the idea, so poor Dave dragged him out of the auditorium. I sat watching but worrying that he was tearing down precious artifacts or being his moody self (he has many sides; moodiness is just one of them). But, nope! Apparently, they had coloring stations set up for little ones, so the boys had colored a picture of a rather frazzled looking “colonial woman” and a powder horn. Whew.

We then turned our attention to the rest of the museum. I LOVE the fact that museums try to identify with the needs of all their attendees, be they families with various ages in tow, history buffs, people with little to no interest in history, etc. There was a time that the fanciest, most interactive part of a museum was a diorama, but today there are buttons to push (which play high-quality recordings), little doors with information behind them, uniforms to try on, and tons more.

Hadman was very much in an “okay, that’s great, what’s next?” mood, so I only skimmed through what I was interested in seeing. Besides, sometimes the artifacts themselves are enough. We looked at the rooms dressed in original furnishings and asked him simple questions — “What do you see in this room that we have?” “What color are the plates?” and explained things where I could — “Instead of a pen like we have, people used to dip a feather, or quill, in ink to write. Isn’t that neat?” He takes things in constantly, so anything that seeped into his mind makes me glad enough.

The museum workers were incredible with him, too. They were highly accommodating for a child of his age (I was worried we’d get the raised eyebrow, which only happened in, of all places, the museum shop) and talked with him lots.

The most impressive parts, to me, were that the original “Boston Massacre” print by Paul Revere (actually a copy of another man’s work, ahem) was on display. We happen to have a much larger scale of the print in our dining room, so that was AWESOME. I was also in awe over one of the two original candle lanterns — the “one if by land, two if by sea” ones. My mind was blown.

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I’m also a bit of a Thoreau fan, so seeing some of the original furnishings he used at Walden (you can see here where I enjoyed visiting the replica of the building over by Walden Pond), as well as his snowshoes and the last pen he wrote with before he died (again, quill…in the mid 1800’s? I couldn’t believe he’d be writing with something so simple at that stage in history; goes to show you I’m not a know-it-all after all).

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And, dude. Emerson’s pad. Not a replica. His actual study/sitting room. Right down to the original wallpaper.

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I just loved the crap out of that museum.

We perused the gift shop and I ended up with a couple of Thoreau works (my “Civil Disobedience” had gone missing) and an awesome editing of his works that proves what an activist he’d probably be today in the world of environmentalism (which also discusses his beliefs on technology and more). I can’t wait to delve in when I finish my current read.

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As is our custom, we also grabbed a cool Concord magnet.

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I was bummed there was nothing Hadley-aged there, but he didn’t seem to care either way.

So, we bid adieu to our lovely Concord and hit the road westward to Montague to meet up with a friend of ours and his lovely lady friend. We had some major difficulties finding our way, but when we did finally reach our destination, it was wonderful. We met up at the Montague Bookmill (yup, more books) and grabbed a bite at their Lady Killigrew Cafe. The food was great, and we ate outside as a gentle rain started to cool things down. What a great time catching up and sharing a new experience.

We walked through the bookstore (I believe it was all used, so the prices were great) and I couldn’t help but think of the huge difference between the independent book stores we had visited. Both were great, but it showed the grandiose next to a more “mom-and-pop” almost counter-culture vibe. We grabbed a book with a built-in clock that monkey had gravitated to (numbers, people, the kid loves numbers), said our good-byes, and plopped him into his car seat. Moments later, he was napping.

After Montague, we headed to South Hadley to meet up with some awesome practically-family friends who let us sleep over and hang out. So, that’s where I’ll leave off for now. One more post, then we’re back home with the kitties! 😉

Massachusetts Vacation 2014 – Concord, Pt. 1

Surprise! We snuck away for our family vacation last week! I didn’t post about it in advance because we’re those super-private, protective people who don’t like to announce when our home is free for the pickin’. Call us crazy (it’s okay, we’re used to it), but we’re mostly concerned about the kitties.

Anyhoo, I figured I’d write a few posts on the trip itself (was going to do a quick rundown today, but I’m chatty), then share a post or two about how we kept a toddler happy along the way, how we alleviated some of the “rush here, rush there”ness of a road trip, a few of the sights we enjoyed most, and anything else that pops into my head along the way. Sound good?

Let’s just say from the start, this trip wasn’t a relaxing retreat. It was meant to be a fun family adventure, which usually recharges the adults’ minds, gives the little guy some new, fun experiences, and, though enjoyable, makes us all feel happy and lucky to return home safe and exhausted at the end of it. Check, check, and check!

We left on Thursday to drive the 4+ hours to Concord, Mass. I picked Concord because I love its history and because the monkey is still way too unpredictable and non-listeny (totally a word… “disobedient” sounds so evil, and it’s not really accuratre) for a big joint like Boston or Philly. We also hoped to fit in some friend-visiting in western Mass, which we did; I, however, still feel guilty over the people that we missed. I’ve gotta get over it, and I know that a toddler is a natural time usurper, but I still feel badly.

So, anyhoo, we left just shy of 8am (later than I’d hoped) on Thursday morning, packed to the gills with clothes, toys, food, a pack ‘n play…pretty much everything in our house sans the cats. I’ve gotta say we lucked out with our monkey on the trip; for the most part, he was an absolute trooper while traveling. Sure, he got cranky once in awhile, but I was generally pleasantly surprised and proud of what a great boy he was for the drive.

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The trip out was long, but not bad. Hadman hadn’t slept well the night before and ended up in bed with us (see above picture; hugely rare these days), so we were all pretty tired; he fell asleep and did a morning nap vs. his usual afternoon nap. It was PERFECT for the drive to-and-from Mass. We took a couple of stops along the way, and we snacked on healthy stuff I’d packed for the road.

When we reached Concord, it was too early to check in, so we took a quick potty break at the visitors’ center (loudest. hand dryers. ever.) then parked on a Walden Street. We scoped out the storefronts for a game plan and decided to grab a meal at the Main Streets Market and Cafe. Again, after a week of terrible two behavior, I was shocked at how well-behaved Hadley was for lunch (for the most part). Oh, and the joint had awesome food. Top-notch, really.

We then hit up the Toy Shop of Concord, which was beyond awesome. It’s an independently-run joint and was super kid-friendly (one would hope), so it gave Hadley a chance to get out of his stroller and engage with other kids and (mostly) toys, toys, and more toys. The funny thing was, I love buying things we’ll use every day while on vacation to remind us of the fun trip we had, so I was fully planning on buying him whatever the heck he wanted…and he picked nothing. He enjoyed certain toys, but then moved on to the next thing, so it was impossible to get him to select something on his own. Eh. We ended up with a Green Toys submarine for some fun in the hotel bathtub that night.

After Dave threw more money in the meter, we hit up my favorite antique shop ever, Thoreauly Antiques. I mean, perfect, right?! The place isn’t very big, but what it lacks in size it makes up for in substance. Their selection is perfectly in-tune to a modern antique-collector. Here are just a few of the things I was eying:

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I seriously almost got one of the lavender sachets (either 3 or 6 for the “3 humans, 3 adults” or “6 altogether”). And the NY Central drove through my hometown, so, yeah.

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Sorry for the fuzzy picture; I had a man with a stroller hot on my heels. 😉 But the vignettes around every corner were just incredible. (That’s a plate of old keys, BTW.)

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Pages of French from the 1800’s. So much could be done with those. Oohh, la la.

Old hotel numbers on brass key chains. I started to look for our home number, but *someone* was getting fidgety. Not saying whom…who?…but it wasn’t Dave and it wasn’t me.

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More keys!

Knowing full well how almost-to-capacity our car was already, I didn’t grab a darn thing. We did head a few doors down and purchase a bit of candy (as a “thanks so much” gift for our neighbor and my mom, who watched the house and checked on the cats while we were gone…and as a gift to ourselves for eating such healthy snacks in the car) at Priscilla Candy Shop. In all honesty, the customer service left something to be desired, but the candy was worth it.

Then, we took one final stop at the GORGEOUS Concord Bookshop. My word. I’ve never seen a library or book store in my LIFE that was more impeccable than this one. I assume the shelves were mahogany, and everything built custom for the space. The book selection was insane (the first thing that hits you as you enter is the biography section…they must’ve seen me coming a mile away), and it was quieter than any library you could ever imagine (although it had a good stream of people swimming throughout). We purchased a few books then hit the road.

By the time we checked in and unloaded anything we’d need into our room at the hotel, it was after 5pm. Hadley was still bouncing with energy and I had no idea what to do for dinner. We found a couple of menus for a nearby Italian restaurant, so decided to order in for the night. (Very important tip I’ll dive into further in a future post: Know thyself. If your little one is probably not willing to sit still, going out to dinner — even if you had your hopes set on it — is not a “must” while on vacation.)

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Besides, we could sit back in our comfy clothes, allow him to run around, and watch precious C-A-B-L-E (HGTV FTW!). Plus, when I picked the food up I saw how dressy most of the people eating and working at the restaurant were, so it wouldn’t have suited us much, anyway. One large pizza, a pile of pasta, and two flan-ish desserts later, we were satiated (half the pizza went to waste; Hadley’s appetite was unusually chill). Two bathtimes later (Had’s and mine), Hadley was in the hotel-appointed crib…playing a highly amusing game (to him) called “Hi, Mama! Hi, Dada!” Ahem. Into the bed he came. Within moments, he and Dave were completely zonked. I finished my episode of House Hunters, read some more of my latest favorite book (Marmee & Louisa, highly appropriate to the trip), and went to sleep.

Have I mentioned how much I love the squishiness of sleeping in a hotel bed? Because I do. And, apparently, so does Hadley.

That’s it for today! I’ll stop by this week with the last activity at Concord, then meeting up with our friends back to the west. Yay!

Mama Must-Haves

Today’s post contains affiliate links. They won’t make your computer explode or steal your identity…I hope.

So many friends and acquaintances on Facebook (and, y’know, in the real world) are having babies left and right. We’re in talks ourselves, but are still putting off a second bambino for the time being. We’re also pretty private about things; that “don’t tell anyone until the second trimester” thing is law for us, outside of one or two close family members or a BFF.

All these gorgeous shots of tiny shut-eyed beauties got me thinking about Hadman and what it was like to bring him home those 2+ years ago. Oh, how terrified and unprepared we felt. I’m tons more laid-back now, and Dave’s improved immensely. We’re kinda rocking it, parentally. Most of the time.

Whenever we choose to have another (if we should be so lucky, knocking on lots of wood), I’m excited to try some things that, for one reason or another, didn’t work out with our first little guy. I’ll admit that, while I “tried” cloth diapering, I didn’t succeed — okay, I failed at it. So, that. There’s that.

Also, with how humongous our monkey was, babywearing didn’t really work out, either. It is what it is, but I hope to try it in the future. Maybe a future babe will enjoy it (and it’ll probably make life a bit easier with a bigger brother running around).

But enough of the stuff that didn’t work for us. Here are some of the stuff that I wouldn’t live without that worked out awesomely for us…

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#1 – It took awhile to decide on a pump to use at school everyday, so I took a risk purchasing this Medela In Style Advanced Breast Pump. Turns out, it wasn’t such a risk, after all! This thing is a work horse. It comes with everything you need (you’ll need to replenish your storage bags, but that’s pretty much it). Once you get the hang of, y’know, feeling like you’re being milked in a small space at work, it feels like routine — thanks to this machine. Considering how nerve-wracking the whole concept of pumping can be, having a pump you can trust with such a delicate process is golden.

#2 – I know, I know. You’re thinking, “isn’t this supposed to be essentials for parenting a baby?” Yup. We read to Hadley from week one, and it’s pretty much his favorite thing to do today. And he’s two. This was our first Mo Willems book, and we’ve been addicted ever since. Have you met Elephant and Piggie? If not, you totally should. They’re the gateway drug to Pigeon. I also foresee some Knufflebunny in our future.

#3 – This Fisher-Price Space Saver High Chair (in a neutral color; ours is tan with polka dots) is probably the baby product with the most longevity. We used it from about 5-6 months until the present, and I foresee using it for awhile still. As the name implies, it saves the space of a regular high chair by utilizing a regular old dining chair as its base. When the time comes, this thing will store awesomely, too. I just can’t say enough good about it. Seriously.

#4 – Dave insisted that I include Sophie, and I can’t blame him too much. She’s a classic, she’s adorable, and Hadman lovingly chomped on her for quite awhile. Plus, giraffes turned out to be his spirit animal during his first year, so it was a perfect match. Don’t mind the price tag on this one; she’s worth it.

#5 – Glass bottles?! Are you insane?? Yes, but that’s beside the point. These classic Evenflo glass bottles worked wonderfully and put my super-obsessed mama mind to rest about BPA and all those other nasties, especially when warming. We also used the smaller 4 ounce size, especially when he was holding his own bottles. Side note: When the kiddos get bigger and you’re heading to a place that you know will have a tile floor, just keep an extra eye on the bottles. Made that mistake once; will never make it again.

#6 – If you’re a new mama and you’re having a hard time getting your little one to sleep at night, all I can say is — SWADDLE, SWADDLE, SWADDLE! Then swaddle some more. These organic muslin blankies are what I prefer thanks to their breathability (especially when your newborn is a summer baby) and flexibility, which allows just the right amount of movement and comfortable snuggliness. Seriously, it sounds crazy, but these were a lifesaver. Probably the only reason we got ANY sleep.

#7 – The sooner you get a potty chair, the better. Santa brought this Bjorn Baby potty, which has since lived in the kitchen (under the above Space Saver chair, actually) and is utilized daily. He’s not fully trained yet, but the fact that he’s shown an interest since about 18 months is incredible. Thank you, Santa! He also knows that it’s HIS special potty, so that’s pretty great, too. Quick tip: Get a cheap little plastic bin and leave a handful of board books, along with dipes and wipes, next to your main potty. You’ll get sick of the books (seriously, we could recite our four books from memory), but it’ll make potty time way easier and fun for everyone.

#8 – We got a few bottles of Baby Bee shampoo-and-body-wash for our shower, and I’m so glad we did. I don’t think I’ve had to buy a bottle yet! I just keep refilling my small one from the huge bulk-sized one. This is Hadman’s main soap (he’s also used one I had to review, which was fine), and I prefer it because a) it works, b) it’s natural, c) it smells AWESOME (he doesn’t smell like a little hippie baby; he smells just like a BABY…you know the smell…the one you want to bottle and never let go), and d) it makes for a super fun bubble bath. I’ve even been known to use it as shampoo when I’m low from time to time. #noshame #notsorry

What were some of your essentials? Do you agree/disagree with any of my suggestions?

Oh, and feel free to check out the rest of my baby list items (I’m still adding) if you need a few more suggestions. Hint: Cheapest organic crib mattress EVER. Just sayin’.

Hadley 2.0

Hadman is officially a two-year-old, y’all. It happened. And I was, once again, a kinda crappy blogger. After putting a crapload of time into putting the party together (not a complaint; I enjoy doing stuff like that), I failed to take any Pinterest-worthy pictures. Okay, I failed to take many even halfway decent pictures.

See why I don’t own a DSLR camera? I don’t deserve one. *hangs head*

But, guess what I do have, folks. *points to head* The memory and the words, so it’s time to put ~~pen to paper~~ fingers to keyboard and spill the deets. After all, we all know… I. Rite. ~~Good.~~ Goodly. 😉

The realization that the day might not go as planned came Saturday — the night before the big event. See, there’s a huge local 15k/5k/wheelchair run that gets mad exposure (and brings mad tourist dollars) to the area. Out of all the run’s 30+ years, it never had to cancel, but the impending weather for it (which happened to be Hadman’s birthday) was seriously threatening it.

Spoiler alert: The weather turned out fine. Not rain-free, mind you, but not tornadic like earlier in the week. (Not kidding.) Whew.

But, because we knew there was a chance of rain/high winds/severe weather, I decided to nix a vast majority of the decorations. *frowny face* I tossed up a chalkboard banner I had filled in to say “Happy Birthday Hadley” (with ducks and stars cutey-ing it up) and a cool little plaque that I can’t wait to reuse every year, as well as a Duck from “Click, Clack, Moo” that I quickly sketched. Add some chevron fabric for the food table, a few party hats, and a smattering of neat duck facts (I’m nothing if not a fact finder), and I called it a day.

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I kept reminding myself that it wasn’t about the fancy. It wasn’t about the Pinterestworthy pictures (which I probably would’ve tried to get if I hadn’t been distracted by the weather). It wasn’t even about the food, necessarily. It was about Hadley’s day, and if he and everyone who came had fun, that was the damn point. It helped me chill out a bit. A bit.

The food wasn’t too crazy, but it kills me that I didn’t grab a picture of my fruit skewers. Kills. Me. 😛 Just picture: skewers with blueberries and strawberries in one mason jar, another with pineapples/cantaloup/watermelon on another set of skewers in a mason jar. *sigh* I tossed the rest of the loose fruit in a bowl near some honey yogurt dip (I wasn’t a fan, but I don’t like honey; next time just vanilla) as well as some watermelon ducks (watermelon + duck cookie cutter) in a bowl surrounded by blueberries.

Can’t you just envision it? Thanks. Thanks for helping out. I appreciate that.

We also had popcorn on tables, some pretzels and chips on the food table, some tomato pie that my in-laws were awesome enough to bring, and a veggie platter with super yummy dip. Thanks, Ina! And I brought out a lemon cake with lemony cream cheese (sorry, Dan!) frosting, plus some classic vanilla ice cream on the side. Hoping to post the recipe soon, since I took two and combined ’em.

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At this age, with pretty much just Hadley and his shy-of-3 cousin (and a couple of awesome teen cousins), there’s no need to plan much for a party. No need for pinatas or games or anything; not yet. Between providing a less stressful planning experience for Mom and Dad, it’s nice to see what unfolds.

And that was, by far, the best part of the day.

Have you noticed how we don’t get many rainy summer days the way we did when we were little? (By this I’m talking as a kid of the ’80s, but it could apply back to the 1840’s; if that’s you, God bless ya!) Well, we had one of THOSE rainy days. Awesome!

Hadley fed birds with Grandpa (“Papa”), picked cherry tomatoes with Grandma, rode in his new wagon with his BFF cousin and, best of all, ran around and splashed in the puddles with everyone else.

You know it’s a good party when someone needs to be thrown in a bathtub before heading home. That can be applied to adult parties, too, by the way. 😉

So, even though Hadman had a meltdown thanks to completely missing a nap and it rained lots, it was an insanely awesome party! Thanks for vicariously attending with us!

Best Birthday Gift Ever

Today I’ve got a different type of recipe for you — and there are several variations you can try, so feel free to mix it up all you like. Oh, and one warning: the ingredients take FOREVER to find (ahem, make), but they’re worth the effort. Seriously.

Want a cheese sandwich? Start with some bread…cheese, of course…a piece of lettuce…maybe two…a tomato (if you’re into that sort of thing)…then top it off with another fluffy slice….

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Just serve with a carrot or two and you’ve got an awesome lunch. Yum!

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Or you could just pull a Dorky Daddy and have a salad for lunch. (He’d have two salads for dinner…then more salad for dessert. Seriously.) Personally, I’d switch out the tomato for strawberries.

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Speaking of strawberries…grab a few for a snack! (Pardon the water spots.)

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Oh, you’re in the mood for breakfast? We’ve got that covered, too. Eggs and toast, perhaps?

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So, this was my “big present” for the monkey’s birthday. It doesn’t look like much, but I’ve worked on them every night for a month or two…so…yeah. Just the hours alone make them pretty valuable. And the fact that he and his cousin started playing with them immediately (and that they’re, apparently, a cat toy, as well), which makes all the time worth it. Big time. 🙂

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I’m hoping to make a pizza or more breakfast items for Christmas. They’re not hard to make, just time intensive. Whip stitch…whip stitch…whip stitch…. Yep, there’s your tutorial. That’s all you need. Cut out the shapes (I free-handed) from felt, whip stitch the edges until you die, then stuff with filling…or fill with stuffing, whatevs. Rinse and repeat. The cheese was just a cut-out of orangey-yellow felt; that one was super easy and made up for how time-intensive the rest were. 😉

Depending on where we live at that point, we’ll also try to work on a kitchen area for Hadman to house all of ~~his spoons, spatulas, and pots~~ the utensils and pots he’s stolen from me and for further pretend play. He’s in love with them, so I’m super happy that these turned out so well and were well-received. (By the way, he’s mixed them with the food toys he already owns — the ones with the smiley faces — below…and a stuffed turkey. Which makes sense. Maybe.)

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Oh, and for anyone wondering, I’m working on a quick birthday rundown post for this week, too. We hope you had as awesome a weekend as we did!

Hadleyisms

In honor of our little monkey man’s second birthday this Sunday, I thought I’d share a list of his recent words and phrases that have us cracking up…or saying “awww!” while wiping away a tear. Either or. This is also completely selfish because a) I’m forgetful to the max, b) the baby book doesn’t have cool parts for this stuff, and c) um, we haven’t done great at keeping up on that, anyway. So, without further a doo-doo (I know, I know, it’s adieu)…

One- and two-word sentences are the cool thing at the moment. He’s too busy, I’m sure, for anything lengthier. 😉 You also must read the below words/phrases on the higher pitch spectrum. Not super high-pitched, but up. Friggin’ adorable.

So, some of the sounds-mundane-but-makes-us-downright-giddy words have been…

“Hello!!!”,

“Okay!” (it’s the WAY he says these!),

“Honey!” (thanks, Pooh),

“Happy!!!” (my heart melts),

“Babies” (no clue why; maybe his dolly; yes, he has a couple),

“Guys! Okay, guys.”,

“Bub” (tub, of course) and “wawer”,

“Good” and “bad”
(soooo helpful when teaching right from wrong! He think Winston’s the naughtiest kitty, apparently),

“mama dada boo!” (practically one word, said in that order, meaning family; Boo = Beardslee),

“Jappers” (Jasper),

the occasional “Wee Wee” (Winston’s nickname),

and various body parts (nose, eyes, toes, etc.) and a good number of letters and numbers.

Every day there’s a smattering of new awesomeness. I can’t keep up.

Aaaaand the piece de resistance: When I was in the shower over the weekend, Dave and Hadley were watching old Donald Duck shorts. It showed a sign that said “Out to Lunch”, and before Dave knew what hit him, Hadley said “out to lunch.” In shock, Dave asked if that’s what he said (he’s never used the phrase before, ever) and, nonchalantly, Hadley answered “mhmm.” Oh, that? It ain’t no thang. Just reading off the TV screen before I turn 2. No big. Jaw. On. Floor.

So, it looks like we’ll be working on sight words sooner than later!

The real reason that this stuff gets me so dang excited is the fact that, for the past, eh, year and a half to two years, the poor little guy hasn’t had a say in ANYTHING. Imagine. Not being able to communicate except through screams, a few hand signs, and guttural noises. It had to have been incredibly frustrating. The more that he plays with his language and sees how we react to different words (always super excited when he displays a new one, letting him know it’s okay to try them out and okay to make mistakes), the freer he seems in his personality.

For example, I’ve always asked yes/no questions, and for the longest time he would just say “uh-huh” and “uhn-uhn”. Sure, he still does that a bit, but now it’s a direct “yes!” or “nooooo” with gusto and energy in every single response. He definitely knows the importance of inflection and he’s putting himself into the lines already, folks. He’s a little Barrymore, he’s so friggin’ entertaining. I’m also trying to give him more choices so that he feels like he has a bit of a say in this little ol’ thing called life. “Pancakes?” “Hmm…noooo.” “Eggs?” “Um, no.” “What, then?” “Burries!!!” (Berries.) Guess who had a crapload stack of fruit for breakfast.

Oh, and I said “Well, those people suck” when folks wouldn’t let us cross at the supermarket yesterday. “*Mumble mumble* yuck.” Same inflection and everything. Oops. I knew full well it was a copycat moment and had a very quick, very important conversation about what he should and shouldn’t say — and mentally whacked myself over the head for saying it in the first place.

I guess it’s Swear Jar time, Mommy. And I’ll be putting the most cabbage in. Der.

So, mamas and papas (and anyone else with an opinion) out there. Am I being crazy? Is this “First Child Syndrome”? Is it weird to want to try to remember this stuff?

Currently – July 10th

This week is all about Hadley. He’s turning 2 years old this Sunday, so we’re doing plenty of reminiscing, planning, prepping, and just generally getting getting our heads in order. God. Two years. He’s practically in college. *sigh* Gotta say, the ladies who put “Currently” together selected the PERFECT themes for our week! 😉

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We’ll be celebrating with our close family members this year. Last year, we invited a ton of people — all whom we care about deeply — but this year, we decided to cut it back to just family. (What my mom calls “a normal birthday party.” Thanks, Mom.) Just kidding, I’m actually super lucky that my mother agreed to hold the party in her backyard since they’ve got way more space than we do (and we could all fit under their carport easily if it rains). I can’t wait to have a larger space for times like this…and for an excuse to clean. Obviously.

There are times that I can’t seriously believe how much Hadman’s growing into a little boy, but at other times I’m like, “Yup. That happened. I remember it. It’s gonna get worse.” and I can rationalize the crap out of it. Parenthood! I’m just lucky that, when I ask him, he still identifies as both a “big boy” and “mama’s baby.” Oh, Lord, I’m going to go cry now!!

Monkey’s (in case you don’t notice, he’s got a million nicknames) been playing pretend progressively better lately. Oh, and so am I. There was a time when I was about 9 that I remember telling Mom that I was officially a grown-up because I had lost my ability to pretend. She laughed…a lot…and I think I know why. Only a kid with an active imagination could come up with crap like that.

But, seriously, there are a handful of great reasons that parents need to take time out of their day to play, on the floor, no devices in hand, no pictures being taken, no distractions. There are positive psychological and developmental repercussions for the child, but I’ve noticed that it can be a mood enhancer for Mom, as well as providing my brain with some great exercise… not to mention fun memories.

For setting up the shindig, I’m hoping to put up a couple of handmade posters (with none other than ducks from his favorite books, of course), a row of streamers behind the food table, and a mix of the old poufs and a few new ones that go with the yellow-and-blue duck theme. I found some fun cloth to use as a tablecloth for the food table to reuse elsewhere (can you say “chevron”?!), but the rest of the tables will just get a wipe-down. My sister’s also going to bring a kiddie pool to set up, and my stepdad found the old school sprinkler (which kids may or may not run through, we’ll see; Had’s still at the “trip over his own feet” stage) for some fun. Only having two little ones to run around at a party like this makes the “entertainment” part of it kind of simple.

Even a small birthday party like ours isn’t THAT small. I only sent out 5 homemade invitations (they’re awesome), but that ultimately invited 16-17 people. See why we couldn’t have it at our small house? Plus, I come from Blogland, which is just a town over from Pinterestonia. I’ve got to at least put some effort into the aesthetics of the thing. Although, no matter how adorable the paper straws are, NO ONE uses them. NO ONE. Unless, of course, you serve root beer floats.

Oh, the feelings. The feelings. I’m calmly excited (vs. last year’s inevitable stress-out), a tad nervous about making a lemon cake that’ll be fluffy (I’d like to never use a boxed cake mix ever again…even if they are delish), but ultimately all the emotions revolve around Hadley’s growth. Tomorrow, I’ll be sharing some of the stuff he’s saying now, which, when compared to one year ago…well, it’s a completely different kid. Totally.

So, that’s what my week’s currently about. After his birthday, I’ll be turning my attention to some puttering around the house and other laid-back funness. 🙂 With my guys in tow, it’s hard not to enjoy life.

Thanks for hosting, Ot & Et and Harvesting Kale! You ladies rock.