That’s My Husband

So, let me just begin by saying that Dave not only gave me permission to write this entry, but he encouraged it. I wouldn’t have thought to share such a story with you myself, but since he was so, shall we say, ashamed by his actions, that he preempted his confession by outright telling me to write this anecdote. (Feel free to comment your 2 cents, my dear!) I wouldn’t go out of my way to embarrass my husband, truly. That’s not how we roll.

Swordfish? Salmon I can work with, but swordfish?

That being said, Dave offered to go to Hannaford for a few “start of the week” items to get us through until the next big haul. I jumped at the chance to not only have groceries purchased but dinner ready by the time he returned — sounded like a win-win to me! And, I suppose it was. I only got one text from him while he shopped. Not too shabby!

Upon his return, a sheepish yet smiling Dave first told me the above (that I’m allowed to write what’s next on the blog). He then told me that he overspent. Mind you, I sent him with a list of 4, maaaayyybe 5 items – including milk, bread, jelly and peanut butter. He knew that it’d be fine to check out the meat if he thought it was well-priced and looked healthy enough.

Of course, I asked to see the receipt. Giggling, Dave denied me. So, I simply asked how much he’d overspent by. The exact number I do not recall — perhaps due to my shock — but “over $50” total rings a bell.

In complete shock (no better word to describe it, sorry to be repetitive), I requested to know WHAT he’d bought for over $50 when the list I’d sent him with could be counted on one hand. Of course, the PB and J were organic…as was the milk…the bread was Heidelberg (a local AWESOME bakery that sells some stuff at local grocery stores)…but $50?! Apparently, it turns out, he visited the fish counter.

Now, we very infrequently purchase fish. When we do, maaaaannnn do we look it over a million times to be certain (as certain as one CAN without catching the stuff yourself) that it’s raised humanely and not in cesspools. Apparently, the seafood looked good to Dave on this particular day. I also presume he blacked out between looking at the seafood and the checkout line because he suddenly realized how much he was spending, also realizing that it’s near impossible to return fish. Ew. Used fish.

Let’s just say…I’ve never cooked swordfish before, but it seems that the hubs has some great confidence in his wife. “You can cook anything!” he joyfully said. Mhmm. Maybe so. But, maybe I never wanted to cook swordfish. Kind of like I never intend on cooking with lobster or caviar. It’s a lot of pressure to cook something that costs so much.

But, of course, I’ll try. I’ll have to! Can’t let it go to waste. I’ve already made his favorite scallops provencal (a Barefoot Contessa recipe) — which uses those up. I’ve still got salmon and swordfish to use up. I’m hoping that we can break out the grill for the process. Besides, Dave’s my grill king — he can take some of the must-be-goldfish-to-be-that-expensive (get it? Gold? Fish? Ha.) pressure off my shoulders and we can share the admittedly funny experience…then gladly bury it with nothing to remember it but this blog entry.

BTW, tomorrow will mark 6 months exactly that we have been a married couple. I can’t tell if I should say “Whoa, that was fast” or “Man, it felt longer” but, either way, we’re still chugging along and ain’t lookin’ back.