Maybe it IS just me. Or, maybe it’s just the strange, sad situations around me. Things could be worse. They could ALWAYS be worse, and I always try to remember that. But it doesn’t make you stop feeling sad, or keep you from letting your cracks show with a sudden emotional outburst.
The biggest thing on my mind right now is my grandfather, who fell and broke his back last weekend, which also led us to discover that he’d had another episode akin to a stroke awhile back. This man…well, he’s my favorite man, is the best way I could put it. A close second is my mother, his daughter. She’s exhausted, clearly worried, yet handling things quite well, as are her siblings. But I should still worry, because I know what’s coming.
All that’s pretty selfish. The NEXT thing on my mind is those students, co-workers and their families, who experienced major flood devastation and loss last week near our school and surrounding areas. People lost nearly everything. Others just lost a little, but any loss creates sadness and despair, and must be considered.
Then there are those whom I may not call relatives, but who are near and dear to my family members, who are ailing, big-time. Both of my siblings-in-law have a father going through tough medical battles. So strange. So sad. Yet, so hopeful – they’re fighters, and some good is BOUND to come our way.
People rejoicing over murder, even if it was an evil man. Cynicism over something as beautiful as a wedding. Fighting at the theater over petty things. People thinking we’re crazy to care so deeply about a random stray cat, whom I then had to force myself to turn over to the Animal Control Officer, moments before bursting into tears. Giving a detention to a terribly rude kid after I solicited no such response. Computers finding it hilarious to delete all our patrons AND books – it wasn’t April 1st, Computer System, and it wasn’t funny.
But there’s always an underlying good. Think of how many people are doing well, are no longer ailing, are happy. Think about my sister, who, in mere months, will give us a new niece or nephew. Think that my brother will be coming for one of his rare, but always welcome, encouraging visits. Think about my dear friend who has newly found love and joy in the most wonderful of ways. Think of the kindred spirits we have at that theater, regardless of silly fights. Think about all the people who do care about whether we’re happy people and want us to enjoy life.
I try to draw some strength, encouragement and positivity from wherever I can…but, lately, this seems to be the biggest challenge of all.